I Went Quiet
A few weeks ago, I sent the following email out to my mailing list subscribers:
In the past few weeks, in the spirit of slowing down, I have taken the time to meet with many old friends and many new friends too! And nearly every encounter has started in the same way: “Wow! You’ve been busy!”
Yup! I have been busy! And the truth is, it has served me very well: I have met incredible people, have started relationships with new clients, new friends, new business partners. I have created materials that have helped and supported others in their personal and professional lives. I have ran workshops that prompted new relationships, reflection and have sparked great ideas for the participants. I have been visible and enjoyed it. I have had many new ideas myself and have grown at an exponential rate. And most importantly, through doing all of those things, I have built the resilience and confidence to know that I can succeed (there’s always room to grow of course!)
And today, I realize (and accept, ha!) that it is time to NOT be busy. You see, I have been in transition for a long time - what I mean by that is that I can feel that I am changing. I am moving towards a new version of me. This time though, I am not prepared to simply “switch”, or change - I am going for the whole shebang: INNER transformation. It’s been a long time coming and for some reason, I have resisted it. I have not been able to fully let go of who I have been to become whoever I will be. I have avoided the period that is needed for true inner change - a time of quietude, aloneness and introspection. Instead, “Wow, I’ve been busy!”
And so, for the next few weeks, I have chosen to focus on supporting my existing clients as best I can through my 1:1 coaching practice as well as some corporate opportunities, and on myself. This means you won’t hear as much from me for a little while but, in the words of the Terminator: “I’ll be back!”
I look forward to resurfacing with news or maybe without news… we’ll see what happens as I open myself up and make space for whatever is next. Much love,
What happened next:
What surprised me the most is the response I received to this email. Many congratulated me on taking the time I needed for myself, some thanked me for being “real” and “vulnerable” and a few told me that this email had given them permission to take a break.
PERMISSION: Consent / Authorization.
As I read the word, I quickly realized that writing this email had given me permission to stop producing, going, running. As soon as I sent it, my shoulders relaxed, my head cleared and I felt a huge weight coming off my shoulders. This had me thinking about the amount of pressure we put on ourselves as high performers.
All of the stress I was feeling was self-imposed. I had the impression that if I did not produce content, I was not being “helpful” or “valuable”. The truth is that after a couple of weeks of not doing those things, I feel much more clear headed and this in turn allows me to give my full attention to my 1:1 coaching clients, as well as the corporate workshops I have been leading. Of course, this translates as being more helpful and valuable!
As I continue to let this process happen, what comes to mind are more questions than answers!
Where else does this “permission” narrative play out in my life?
Who have I been in the past few months and who do I want to be?
What do I need to change in order to be that person?
Who do I need to be today to be that person tomorrow?
Where do I need to make more space for the new to come?
I continue to work on these questions with my coach and hope to come back to you with answers. For now, I am giving in to to the process and enjoying the openness that comes with it.
I would love to hear about your experiences of letting go of past identities and narratives to be able to open up and create space for what is to come.